“Total Forgiveness- Part 2”
Text: Genesis 45:4-15
9-1-2024
Grace, mercy, and peace be unto you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen. As promised last week, we’re going to continue our examination of that all-important doctrine of forgiveness. Before we get back into it today, let me clear something up. After the last sermon, some of you may be thinking, “You know, so-and-so REALLY needs to hear that sermon.” Maybe so. But so do you! Don’t just think that it’s the other person who needs to learn how to forgive. You need to hear it too. We all do. Perhaps, you’re thinking, “No I don’t! I can forgive and forget without holding grudges.” I’m sure you’re being honest. But I doubt you’re always forgiving people the way God wants you to. True, you may not be upset with someone who hurt you. You may not be actively seeking revenge. You may have dropped the issue and stopped thinking about it. But that’s not the same as totally forgiving them in your heart.
How can I be so sure of that? It’s simple. You’re a sinful human being just like everyone else on the face of this earth. Because of that, it’s guaranteed that you’re going to struggle with totally forgiving someone. In fact, it’s probably the most difficult thing you’ll ever have to do. In a sense, it’s like climbing Mt. Everest. It may be very difficult, but it will be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done in your life. Most people don’t think they’ve ever seen or experienced a miracle. But once God leads you to totally forgive someone, you’ll see a real-life miracle. How so? Well, the definition of a miracle is when something supernatural happens. And totally forgiving someone issupernatural. In other words, it goes against the laws of nature. And it’s not natural for us sinners to forgive. Our sinful nature would rather seek revenge or hold onto the desire to pay back the person who hurt us even if that it doesn’t come from us. Our sinful nature hopes for the day when we’ll be able to see the offending person suffering and say, “You got what you deserved. What goes around comes around!” THAT is not total forgiveness. The good news is that God can teach us how to do it His way. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can experience this miraculous change in our own hearts.
As always, our only reliable source for guidance is God’s Word. In it He sets out a pattern to follow as we seek to forgive in a way that’s pleasing to Him. Let’s start with a negative example. Do you remember the story of Jacob and Esau? The Reader’s Digest version is that Jacob pulled a nasty trick on his brother Esau to steal his birthright. When Esau figured out what happened, he was angry. Genesis 27:41 says: Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” In other words, he was biding his time. When their father was dead, he was planning on paying Jacob back by killing him. He nursed a grudge against his brother and he wanted to harm him. Thankfully, over time, God changed Esau’s heart. Years later when these two brothers met again, Esau had finally forgiven Jacob. I wonder how long Esau suffered as he held onto his bitterness.
Next, let’s look at a positive example of forgiveness. It’s found in our reading from Genesis 45. Here again, I’ll just give you the Reader’s Digest version. Joseph was one of Jacob’s 12 sons, the guy you just heard about. Joseph was Daddy’s favorite. On top of that, he told his brothers about a dream he had where they all bowed down to him. They despised him for it. So, one day they caught Joseph out in the field and decided to kill him. But instead, they sold him as a slave to some traders who were passing by. Let’s face it. No matter what this kid had said, that was a pretty mean thing to do. If anybody had a right to be angry and hold a grudge, it was Joseph. Eventually, he ends up in Egypt and after years as a slave, God blesses him. Incredibly, Joseph gets promoted to the second most powerful man in the country. Well, there was a famine all across the region and Jacob’s boys go to Egypt to buy grain. And guess who they have to deal with? Yep, the brother they had mistreated. But they didn’t recognize Joseph anymore, although he recognized them. What an opportunity for revenge! He could pay them back 100 times over for the awful thing they had done to him. He could make them beg for mercy. But that’s not what he did.
Evidently, over the years God had worked the miracle of total forgiveness in Joseph’s heart. In our text for today, he reveals his identity to his brothers. But in the verses right before that, it says his brothers were terrified. Why? Because they knew how our sinful nature operates. They fully expected Joseph to seek revenge. But he did the opposite because he had already forgiven them years ago. Those brothers found it hard to believe that he could or would do that. In fact, later when their father dies, they figure Joseph will finally pay them back. So, they sent a messenger to Joseph telling him that Dad had left instructions to not hurt them once he was gone. Genesis 50:17 says “Joseph wept when they spoke to him.” Poor Joseph. God had worked the miracle of total forgiveness in his heart and now his brothers were too scared to receive it. He cried because he wished them no harm but they were beating themselves up anyway. Verse 21 says that Joseph “comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” Isn’t that amazing? Joseph, the victim, had to work overtime to convince his brothers that he had indeed forgiven them.
Let’s turn back to our text in chapter 45. There’s something very important I want you to notice. Joseph doesn’t pretend that the awful sin against him didn’t happen. He repeats it only as a piece of forgiven history. This is where I think so many of us balk at the idea of total forgiveness. We think that if we forgive someone then we have to act like the past never happened. That’s not true. As I said last week, you can never really forget things like that. But when you give it over to God it can become a piece of forgiven history in your life.
I just wonder if we are prepared to forgive in the same way. I know our tendency. When someone has hurt us, we want to tell others about it. We may not try to get revenge but we want anyone and everyone to know just how rotten that person as to us. In essence we’re hoping to pay them back by hurting their reputation. That’s a telltale sign that we haven’t totally forgiven. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s too bad. I can’t bring myself to forgive at that level.” Need I remind you of what Jesus said in Matthew 18:35? He said, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” That’s the pattern for us. God doesn’t go around telling other people about our forgiven sins. And He doesn’t want us to do that either. He wants us to forgive others and drop it.
Before we go any further, we should answer a concern that this might raise. What if the person who hurt you is a “repeat offender”? For instance, what if they have a hot temper or an offensive habit of insulting people? What if they have a personality that could really hurt or damage someone who is weaker than you? Don’t you have a responsibility to warn others about that person? The answer is a qualified no. In Matthew 18 Jesus gives us clear instruction for confronting sin. But in that process, it’s supposed to stay as confidential as possible. Even if that person remains unrepentant, Jesus never says that it’s open season on telling the whole world about how awful this person is. Yes, the last step is to “tell it to the Church.” But then the whole Church has the Christian responsibility to keep their mouths shut about it. If you ever end up having to tell a sin to the whole church it had better not be as an act of revenge.
I should add a caveat to what I just said. If your mind or conscience is plagued by what someone has done to hurt you, you do have the option of telling someone. First and foremost, you can start with your Pastor. Why? Is it because I like to hear those kinds of juicy stories? Absolutely not! But the advantage of coming to me is that I have sworn before God that I will not share that information with anyone. If you need help in going to that person and confronting the sin, I will help with that. I’ll lead you in prayer and counsel you with God’s word to forgive that person.
Let me make something perfectly clear though. If someone has committed a crime in the process of hurting you, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell the proper authorities about it. For instance, if a man rapes a woman or abuses his wife or children, it should be reported. The rest of society needs to be protected from that person. By reporting it and testifying in court doesn’t mean that you haven’t forgiven them. But the great majority of sins that people commit against us are not illegal. That doesn’t mean they hurt any less. It just means that we have no business telling others about it.
One more thing. When God brings about that miracle in your heart and you do forgive someone, don’t go rushing over and say, “I just want you to know that I have totally forgiven you.” That sounds like a good thing but in many of our situations the other person doesn’t have the slightest clue that they’ve offended you! You may think they ought to know, but they don’t. In fact, quite often the other person that you want to declare forgiveness to might be thinking that you offended them. The truth is you both need to forgive each other. Even if it was one-sided and that person knows what they’ve done, you going to them and saying “I forgive you” may make them feel like you’re rubbing their nose in it. Do you remember what Joseph did? He forgave his brothers long before they ever came to him and it wasn’t the first thing out of his mouth when he saw them. They brought it up to him. Don’t get me wrong. If a person is truly sorry for sinning against you and they come asking for forgiveness, it’s appropriate to say, “I forgive you.” But even if they don’t ask, you can show by your actions that you have already forgiven them. Your actions might be the very thing that brings them to ask you to say those words. Then, it’s your joyful duty to say, “I have forgiven you... just like God has forgiven me.”
Well, there’s plenty more for us to learn about forgiveness. But we’ll stop here and pick it back up again next week. In the meantime, ask God to lead you to forgive the way that He forgives. Thank Him for the total forgiveness He has showered on you through Jesus Christ, and ask Him to work that miracle in your heart towards others. May God grant it to us all for Jesus’ sake. Amen.
Soli Deo Gloria