'Til Death Do Us Part
Text: Romans 7:1-13
7-2-2023
In the name of Him who has freed us from the bonds of sin, dear friends in Christ. Let’s do a little quiz, shall we? If a person finds themself in a bad or unhappy marriage, how do they get out of it? Ah, be careful. I suspect that some of you were thinking that the simplest answer to a bad marriage is: divorce that sucker! Au Contraire. If you're a Christian, then you know the Bible makes it very clear that divorce is only allowed in cases of adultery or desertion. Let's be honest, though. Most marriages that end in divorce, including Christian marriages, are not usually due to one of these exceptions.
Don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that a spouse in an abusive marriage is stuck there only to be somebody's punching bag. Rather, I'm talking about dissolving marriages because of things like "irreconcilable differences" or the other popular one, "we just don't love each other anymore." Sorry folks, but according to God those are not legitimate reasons for ending a marriage. Jesus Himself says, "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." In other words, marriage is supposed to be the permanent union of one man to one woman for life. It’s not to be ended on the whim that you don't feel "in love" anymore, or if you've noticed some irritating habits, or your spouse just doesn't make you happy like back when you were newlyweds. You may not like hearing it but God says you're locked into that union whether you like it or not. That's why you should choose your marriage partner with care and lots of prayer.
It reminds me of a story I heard about a wedding rehearsal. The minister told the father of the bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the groom, you may want to say something nice to him." The father, who was a grocery‑store manager, took the advice. During the wedding he placed his daughter’s hand on the groom's arm and said, "No deposit, no return." You see, that father was conveying the permanence of this marriage.
But wait a minute. Even though divorce is not an option for Christians, there IS a way out of a marriage: Death! That exception clause is in our marriage vows, isn't it? "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." We pledge ourselves to one another for "as long as you both shall live." However, once your partner dies you are released from that vow whether you were happy or unhappy in that marriage. Death terminates the marriage bond. In a legal sense, the remaining spouse is then free from their wedding vows. Now before someone gets a wise idea, we’re talking about death by natural causes, not a “mysterious” accident.
Believe it or not, my purpose here wasn’t to preach about marriage and divorce per se. And I would also stress that even if you have gotten a divorce for the wrong reasons, God still offers forgiveness. But the reason why I wanted to get you thinking about these things is because in our Epistle lesson St. Paul uses the bond of marriage as an illustration about sin and our salvation. Due to our sinful nature, we find ourselves stuck in a figurative marriage to sin. We're in this unholy union from the moment we're conceived. And we can’t break this bond by simply saying we'll walk away from it. Fact is, in our unconverted state, we don't want out of this marriage. Make no mistake; this is an abusive relationship, which will lead to our spiritual death. But on our own, we don't have the desire or ability to exit this unholy, destructive union. It’s kind of like some of the abused women I tried to help when I was a Police Officer. I’d offer to take them to a shelter and encouraged them to press charges. Shockingly, some of them would decline saying, “Oh, but he loves me. He says he won’t do it again. Besides, if I left he’d find me and kill me.” And so, they’d stay only to be abused again.
That’s how it is with our union to sin. We like how sin makes us feel. It seems like fun at first. But later we find that the consequences of our sinful actions are painful. Suddenly, we don’t like it anymore. And yet, we see no way out. We’re stuck in this abusive relationship, and so we live in the hope that things will get better. But it won’t. In a sense, we are legally united to sin. And it’s a bond that we are powerless to break.
But there is a way out. Death! Just as a legal marriage can only be legitimately ended by the death of a spouse, likewise with our marriage to sin. In the previous chapter of Romans, Paul tells us how we are able to get out of our abusive marriage to sin. He says, “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? [4] We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.” So you see, Baptism ends our unholy union with sin.
St. Paul picks up on that theme again in our text for today. He says we have “died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another...” We couldn’t free ourselves by trying to keep the letter of the law perfectly because it wasn’t possible for us sinners to do so. But in Baptism we are released from that union with sin and the law which condemned us for being in this unholy marriage. We are now free to be united with Someone else: Jesus Christ. In Baptism a new and holy union with Christ takes place. We are united with Him in a bond which death can never end. His covenant of love with us is eternal. And Jesus will never go back on His vow to love us unconditionally. That’s true of Jesus, but what about us now that we’ve been rescued from our abusive marriage to sin?
There was a ridiculous song that hit the charts during the 70’s, which reflected the sexual revolution of that era. The title was “Torn Between Two Lovers.” It’s the story of a married woman making a confession to her husband that she was having an affair. She tells her husband that she doesn’t love him any less, but she also loves this other man who supplies the needs that he can’t fill. Recognizing that she is “breaking all the rules,” she says she’s torn between two lovers and she hopes he’ll understand. Believe it or not, in my years of counseling with married couples this very thing goes on. My Biblical advice is to issue an ultimatum: Either you leave your lover, or you leave me. You cannot have it both ways! A husband or a wife has a right to demand 100% of their spouse’s devotion and love be directed to them and them alone. That’s not being controlling or possessive. God intended marriage to be an inseparable bond of the two becoming one flesh.
To say the least, it’s very disturbing on a human level when there is infidelity between two people who are supposed to be exclusively bound to one another. That’s because it violates an intimate trust between husband and wife. But if that’s the case for the relationship in a human marriage then what about our spiritual union with Christ? We’ve already established the fact that when Jesus washed us in Baptism, He rescued us from our abusive marriage to sin. Our sinful nature died and we were freed from that horrible bond. Now, we are in a holy union with our loving Savior.
And yet, how often don’t we find ourselves running back to our old lover? It’s as if we’re singing our own version of that stupid song to the Lord, “Golly, Jesus, I sure hope you’ll understand. Please, don’t think this means that I love you any less. But there are times when I have needs that you can’t... or won’t... fill. You say that these sinful things are harmful to me, but I kind of like them. No, to be honest, I LOVE them. That’s why I’m torn between two lovers. Can’t you just accept this little love affair that I’m having with sin?” Rightfully so, Christ’s answer is an emphatic “NO!” Just as in human marriage, our union with Jesus demands 100% love and devotion to Him and Him alone. He won’t share you with your other lover. It’s not because He’s some jilted lover and His feelings are hurt. Rather, it’s a matter of life and death. Our union with sin means eternal death and separation from God. Our union with Christ means eternal life with God in the bliss of heaven. These two unions are totally incompatible. That’s why it’s one or the other.
Okay, but here’s the rub. You and I are still sinners. Each and every day we’re tempted reunite with that old, sinful way of life. And we often give in. Inside a Christian there is this struggle because we don’t want to go back to our old lover, and yet in our weakness we find ourselves doing just that. What’s the solution to our dilemma? Well, do you recall what we learned in the Catechism under the Fourth Part of Baptism? It says, What does such baptizing with water indicate? It indicates that the Old Adam in us should by daily contrition and repentance be drowned and die with all sins and evil desires, and that a new man should daily emerge and arise to live before God in righteousness and purity forever.
There’s your answer right there. By daily contrition and repentance our bond with sin is dissolved. How? It’s found in that line I quoted from our wedding vows: Til death us do part. By returning to the covenant of love that united us to Christ in Baptism, we daily die to sin. And if we daily die to sin, then the union is broken. Whenever we give in to sin, all we need do is go back to our Baptisms. In those holy waters, Christ washed away all our sins and continues to do so. He united Himself with us in a bond of unconditional love. He speaks words of love and encouragement to us through His Holy Word. Through it He turns our attention away from the wooing of our former lover and calls us to live the new life we have in our union with Him. And by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us, He gives us the strength to remain totally, 100% devoted to Christ and Him alone.
To see that kind of marriage bond between two humans is a beautiful thing. But our union with Christ is even more glorious to see and experience because it means eternal life and salvation. So may God the Holy Spirit continue to work in our hearts, leading us to daily contrition and repentance, so that our bond to Christ remains strong, forsaking our love affair with sin, to God’s glory and for our good. Amen.
Soli Deo Gloria!